It's the day to give thanks and i'm in gratitude mode. Every day is gratitude day for me. Even in the midst of grieving, I have so much to be thankful for.
I woke up and put myself straight into my work, my art. It is something that keeps me level headed when hard days arrive. Today is a divine day! Manifesting irie things from last night's moon inner g and carrying my blessings into my tomorrow. Today is also my 3rd thanksgiving without my bubba. I def feel great today and am "doing better" with the idea of not having him here today physically. Usually when holidays like this arrive, I'm in a slump of emotions and not wanting to get out the bed or even interact with people. In the past, it's truly been hard to hear others around me mention calling family to see where to link for this plate, and that family hug, but today I am truly just basking in gratitude, while still allowing myself to be present in my emotions. I plan to hit the store soon to grab a few more items before I start cooking. Today's meal will be themed around thanking myself for being present. Cooking for me has always been a sign of self love and today that inner g remains. Eye am thankful to be able to provide for myself by Jah's helping hand.
The other side of today IS being present and dealing with my grief emotions and thoughts. Sometimes due to grief, this can be easy to avoid and expect to deal with later, but today eye am putting me first by expressing and not neglecting.
Here are some things I have to allow myself to breathe through today:
- remembering that other people do not always think of me with intention in regard to my grief. it sometimes feels like people forget or are oblivious to the idea that days like this are harddddd asf for me, whether I show it on the outside or not. it would be nice to have people think of me like this vs having to remind someone why a day like this, I may seem to throw "weird inner g"... im just grieving G
- lol @ not having relative blood family in memphis... like others and friends, I am blessed asf to have, but the comfort of family just hit different, ya know?
- cant remember the last time i talked to my mom (when everybody else can tell me the last time they've seen and heard from her), but I always pray she's ok, knowing she's somewhere grieving like me too...
- wishing i could cook for my brother & invite him over...(I wonder what he would want to eat)
- wishing someone would be thoughtful of me in a way to want to invite me over so that i can just rest in being surrounded by others that i love and that love me vs having to see where i can go/be
- hoping this day goes by fast so I can just get to tomorrow.....
I am thankful for this blog, simply because I can just release my thoughts and feels and just let them be released. its a blessing to be able to just drop this here and not care how its' received or read. I am in gratitude today because Jah provides a way for me to be. EYE AM THANKFUL! ... now lemme go scoop this food before these stores close early.....
OH! ALSO! THE ART STUFF :)
Another major reason I am in gratitude today and always... it's a true gift to be able to continue to be creative and produce art as I grieve over time.
For about a year-ish now, I've been blessed to have two amazing people in my life, Diamond & Drew, my mf friends and amazing ass interns... I would have loved to do a "friendsgiving" with them today and just share my love, thanks, and gift of food with them. I'm sure they're doing tings today with their families, but OH HOW THANKFUL I am to have them in my life. Sometimes I think they don't really know the gratitude I share for them and at a capacity that exceeds words, but I am thankful to be able to share and express that here.
One of my favorite ways to showcase my love for someone is obviously through art, and WE ARE ABOUT TO HAVE OUR FIRST EVER GROUP ART EXHIBIT come December 2022! With our opening reception literally being a week away, I just want to use this month-long exhibition to highlight what they mean to me. Eye am innergized to be able to use my own platform to put them on a pedestal. They deserve it, and so much more. Eye pray, as someone they continue to work and grow with artistically, that eye am able to remain a light and pillar in supporting their wildest dreams. This is only the beginning!
Click Here for our PRESS RELEASE & OPENING NIGHT RECEPTION INFORMATION!
REALLY hope whoever reads this is able to make it to our exhibit next week!
Peace, Love, Strength & Intention,
Remember to always be thankful because you never know what the next person is going through!